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New Computer Viruses You're always hearing about new computer viruses running around. Here are some to watch out for. BEWARE!
LEWINSKY VIRUS --Sucks all the memory out of your computer...then e-mails everyone about what it did.
RONALD REAGAN VIRUS --Saves your data, but forgets where it is stored.
MIKE TYSON VIRUS --Quits after two bytes.
OPRAH WINFREY VIRUS --Your 300MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 100MB, then slowly expands to 200MB.
DR. JACK KEVORKIAN VIRUS --Deletes all old files.
ELLEN DEGENERES VIRUS --Disks can no longer be inserted.
DISNEY VIRUS --Everything in your computer goes Goofy.
PROZAC VIRUS --Screws up your RAM, but your processor doesn't care.
JOEY BUTTAFUOCO VIRUS --Only attacks minor files.
ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER VIRUS --Terminates some files, leaves, but IT WILL BE BAAAAAAAK.
LORENA BOBBIT VIRUS --Re-formats your hard drive into a 3.5 inch floppy, then discards it through Windows.
VIAGRA VIRUS --Makes a new hard drive out of an old floppy.
CLINTON VIRUS --Gives you a 6 inch hard drive with NO memory. | | | | | |
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