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Hockey players...

COACH- Leaps tall buildings in a single bound. More powerful than a locomotive. Faster than a speeding bullet. Walks on water Gives policy to God.
CAPTAIN- Leaps short buildings with a single bound. More powerfeul than a switch engine. Just as fast as a speeding bullet. Walks on water if seas are calm. Talks with God.

ASSISTANT CAPTAIN- Leaps short buildings with a running start. Almost as powerful as a switch engine. Faster than a speeding BB. Walks on water in an indoor swimming pool. Talks with God if special request is granted.

DEFENSEMAN- Barely clears a Quonset hut. Loses tug-of-war with a switch engine Can find a speeding bullet. Swims well. Is occasionally addressed by God.

FORWARD- Makes high marks on wall when trying to leap buildings. Is run over by a locomotive. Can sometimes handle a gun without self-inflicting injury. Dog paddles. Talks to animals.

ROOKIE- Runs into buildings. Recognizes locomotives 2 out of 3 times. Is not issued ammunition for his saftey and the saftey of those around him. Can't stay afloat without a live preserver. Talks to walls.

REFEREE- Falls over doorsteps when trying to enter buildings. Says "look at the choo choo!" Wets self with water pistol. Plays in mud puddles. Mumbles to self.

GOALIE- Lifts buildings and walk under them. Kicks locomotives off the tracks. Catches speeding bullets in teeth and eats them. Freezes water with a single glance. Is God.


Hockey players... has a funny rating of 3.60 out of 5.
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