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Signs that you are too drunk would be...

-You lose arguments with inanimate objects.


-You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the earth.


-Job interfering with your drinking.


-Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alcohol stream.


-Career won't progress beyond Senator of Massachusetts.


-The back of your head keeps getting hit by the toilet seat.


-Sincerely believe alcohol to be the elusive 5th food group.


-24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case - coincidence?? - I think not!


-Two hands and just one mouth... - now THAT'S a drinking problem!


-You can focus better with one eye closed.


-The parking lot seems to have moved while you were in the bar.


-Your twin sons are named Barley and Hops.


-Hey, 5 beers has just as many calories as a burger, screw dinner!


-Mosquitoes catch a buzz after attacking you


-At AA meetings you begin: "Hi, my name is... uh..."


-Your idea of cutting back is less salt.


-You wake up in the bedroom, your underwear is in the bathroom, you fell asleep clothed. - hmmm.


-The whole bar says 'Hi' when you come in...
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